Airport (ugh)

Flights continue to get worse and worse. Instead of getting excited to go on vacation I dread the expected delays and missed connections.

I am blogging now from Cincinnati. I hear lil' stories like the one I'm about to tell ALL THE TIME, and mine is really no different. I did, however, fine tune a great death stare.

First, I get to the airport. I flee from Josh's car to the nearest check-in kiosk. I swipe my credit card and instantly the screen of horror pops up "TO CONTINUE SEE AGENT."Ahhhh shit. I slowly turn my head to see my Flight number next to my least favorite word; "DELAYED" (at least it didn't say the "c" word).

So, I wait in the ridiculously long windy line of confused pissed of people to see my agent. I get the German one. This is where I start heavily observing other's techniques for assuring they will get to where they need to go. Looking back, I should of paid more attention. Plus I was only starring at other people because my agent was broken. I know he's broken because I'm sitting here in Cincinnati when I'm supposed to be enjoying lunch with my Aunts in DETROIT! DETROIT German Man! DETROIT!

Well...technically I'm supposed to be in Traverse City, but that's a different story.

So German man gives me my new tickets and I head towards the security check point. Check point man glares at me and asks "Are you traveling alone?" For some reason I instantly felt very guilty for not having anyone with me and said in a very meek voice "yah?" Then he said "What is your name?" I quickly snapped out of my embarrassed guilt and glared back at him; "You have my ID." At which point he told me that I had Joseph Barrens tickets.

ughhhh German man!

When I finally get to the other side I see several, scratch that, a ton of depressed pissed off facial expressions. This can't be good. So, slowly, like I'm about to uncover my hands at a scary movie, I look up to the Departures screen.

"Ah!"

I hate scary movies. And now I hate Departure screens.

I'm not leaving till 1:10AM now?! Wha?! There aren't even comfy chairs here. Wait a second, there aren't even ANY free chairs.

I felt like Delta slapped me across the face and forced me to sit on the ground (by loud yelling toddlers, of course). To make matters worse for some reason someone thought it a great idea to put marble walls in SFO - so all of the power outlets are set into the wall by an inch. I normally don't care about these interior design screw ups until my lap top died mid 30 Rock and I needed to charge it. Luckily, there is a Mac guy within 10 feet of you at any given time in San Fran, so said Mac guy let me borrow his. Thank you Mac guy.

Finally after five 30 Rock episodes - FINALLY we board. Needless to say, worse flight ever. A delayed red eye with a bunch of elder business guys does not smell good.

Feeling like jell-o, I get off in Cincinnati. I hand one of my newly created "business cards" to the girl I met sitting next to me and then I run off to find the elusive Gate "C". After a sleepy miss directed mess I realize there is a shuttle to get to Gate "C". Cincinnati Airport: 1, Adrienne: 0.

I'm at "C". I hand my ticket to the very slow lady behind the check-in counter. She says that she's not taking stand by yet.

Wait a second, STAND BY?

ughhh German man, how you have failed me so.

So, let me get this straight. I wait in SFO for an unexpected 2.5 hours to miss my connection to Detroit, and my consolation prize is STAND BY? Did Delta just slap me across the face again?! Of course by the time I finally found Gate "C" it put me low on the stand by list. Cincinnati Airport: 2, Adrienne: 0.

Here is where I see a guy I stood up for back at SFO (he was trying to get on the direct flight to Detroit because his agent told him he should ask at the Gate. Then the Gate man said that we should of asked at the Door. I stepped out of line to back him up and yelled that there was clearly a lack of communication. No doubt he had German man too. The Gate man said that we were on Delta and this is NWA at which point guy and I said "you merged" in unison) So here I am with SFO guy waiting for the Detroit flight. He tells me he's #3 & #4 on the list and the next flight to Detroit is at 7:55PM and even that's full.

shit. shit. shit.

Then he says he's going to get a car and if I wanted a ride I was more then welcome. Ha! Take that SFO Gate guy! Just as I was going to gladly accept his sweet offer him & his wife's names were called for standby. I muttered sometime like congratulations.

Jolted by fresh fear that I wasn't ever going to make it to the cottage I kicked myself into corporate bitch mode. I'm not Executive Platinum on American for nothing! Actually in a Delta line, this means absolutely nothing. I know because I whipped out every membership card I had; AAA, United, American Airlines, Blockbuster... Nothing happened but my own mild amusement.

Meanwhile in line, a poor Midwestern woman is sobbing behind me to talk to the next Gate guy. Looking at her it made me realize how stupid I would look if I started crying. So I gave Gate guy the death stare. Basically my motivation was to act like a computer and show no emotion whatsoever.

This worked. This worked SO well I should write a book about it. Or put my death stare on YouTube to help Amazing Race contestants.

Astounded by my new found confidence I fire off a thousand questions (all said in robot mode); "When is the next flight to DTW?" "When is the next NWA flight?" "Since there is no way this was weather related what do I get for my large inconvenience?" "Where do I go to have Delta comp me a rental car?"

Then whenever he struggled to stand up to me I would respond with comments like so "I'm sorry, I have been up for the past 27 hours trying to go on vacation and can't hear you very well." Or my personal favorite; "It seems I have developed a minor twitch in my right eye." I actually got a chuckle from the crier behind me for that one.

Yes, it is sad it had to come down to snarky gen y zingers, but hey, it worked. He called every, EVERY flight to Detroit for me and got me as #1 stand by for the next flight.. Which should be anytime now. Fingers crossed for me please!

So, now I'm running on no sleep, I smell like a thousand farts and Starbucks is too far to get a coffee. But on the up side I have an amazing new death stare and luckily they have free WiFi here, so I can blog my heart out ;)

Ode to Hulu

It's school break and lets face it, I'm not going to do anything useful with this time.

So instead I've created a couple blogs, a July competition, a small company with my sister (more on this later) and am currently comparing online streaming television websites.

I've come to the conclusion, (after being a long time cheerleader for Joost), that it is Hulu that will win this battle. First, Hulu has 30 Rock - my new favorite show. Second, there is no username and password crap to get started and no downloads needed. Third, the word hulu sounds like hula hoop and that is more fun then Joost, which sounds like juice. I would rather hula hoop then drink juice.

Okay, I really didn't have a third point. But now that I think about it I agree with myself, hula hooping is more fun then drinking juice.

I suppose, in the end we will all know who wins the war of online TV when HBO breaks down and signs with one or the other. Until then, I'm hula hooping.

To join me, click here.

My digital garage

Sometimes I want to be creative in words and other times I like to think in pictures. So I created the following site;

http://adriennehoughton.tumblr.com/

Mainly I upload anything I find interesting. I also like to upload random pictures and video from my phone when I walk around San Francisco (or wherever I happen to be).

If you have any cool pictures or video you would like to add, please email me and I'll upload them.

Computer Geek Rap Song

I probably spend about 20% of my day making up rap songs in my head. After a visit with my boyfriend's two year old nephew I started to wonder what he will be when he grows up. I decided he will turn into one of two things; an entertainer or a computer geek.

There are so many rap songs for kids who want to grow up to be an entertainer. And sadly, several rap stars are running out of things to sing about, so they create lyrics made up of the brand name of their shoe, their vacation destination, another brand name...etc.. It makes me wonder if they run out of time to create lyrics, give up and think "Yah, iPhone can rhyme with alone."

For the sake of all aspiring computer geeks everywhere I decided that these songs don't resonate. In fact, there is no way that most of these songs resonate with anyone.

Growing up my Dad always had the Oldies station on and my Mom, the Top 40. For once I'm starting to appreciate how my Dad never let us change the station on the way home from school. I always thought he just liked the oldies station because it would take him too long to try to remember any new songs. But now I assume it is because the songs told a story instead of where to shop for denim. And I must admit, when my sister and I did quickly change the station once, it was a bit weird belting out "I feel a little poke coming through...on you!" next to my Dad.

So, as much as I would like to I can't sing to owning a jet, wearing Manolo's or having my photo shoot in all Cartier. I can, however, help this potentially future computer geek out with a lil' rap song.

I want to be a computer geek when I grow up

(boom boom sha, boom boom sha, boom boom sha, boom boom sha)

fire fighter, engineer, pro football player
I also don't ever want to run for mayor

Pilot, Chef, Teacher is not for me
a computer geek, yah! that's what I want to be

Shoe designer, Sales Clerck, Entrapanuer
Def. not a Farmer who shovels manuer.

To live a charmed life you must first

hahahahahaha, after all this "work" I think I will leave the raping to the professionals after all.

Ping Pong

Earlier this year I ran up my hill to announce to my Sister that we needed a ping pong table. I thought that by owning a ping pong table we would be inundated with friend requests, and then of course attain fame and fortune. Bright eyed and excited, she agreed.

Our Dad had a one word answer for our new ping pongapalooza kitchen table/bar for freinds, and that was; "stupid".

So, a week later we were the proud owners of one pro sized ping pong table. Indoor table tennis here we come! The problem being it was in Noe Valley and we didn't own a truck. Or a car. High on ambition we took all of the public transportation we could and whamo! we had our $40 table (a great craigslist deal found by my Sister).

Doing what any other city girl would do, we called for a cab. Three cabs, two creative refusals and one pissed off neighbor later we threw in the towel and gave the look of defeat.

The prior table owners allowed us to store our table back in their house so that we could arrange for pick up the following day. Dragging our feet we slowly walked the eleven blocks to the closest bus stop home.

Well, to make a long story longer we never ended up famous and wealthy. Instead said table owners had their son's eight year old birthday party that night and the table broke.

Money. Time. Significant Other.

Whenever I invite someone to come travel with me, they usually "can't" for one of the following three reasons;

1. Time
2. Money
3. Significant Other.

It's amazing how many times I've had this conversation. It starts out with small talk then the conversation winds it's way to the topic of travel. Then where they would like to go next. Sometimes I invite them on my next adventure, and then I hear one of the top three reasons they can not go.

So people, there are three things that can hold you back (if you let them); money, time and a significant other. Now, if you don't want to travel that's your own deal. But if you do, maybe you should stop saying one of the three and book it already.

PS I'll be climbing Machu Picchu in a month if you want to come ;)

It's Quantity NOT Quality!

An older friend of mine recently joined Facebook. A week later he asked me what the point of it was. "A social networking site, where you can connect with lost friends" that's what I told him.

Later he came to me to say how a couple people asked him to be his friend and he had no clue who they were. I think as long as your security settings are high enough the entire point of these sites it to see how many friends you can get. I, by no means think we should all aspire to be like Tila Tequila.

So, what's your number of Facebook friends? Twitter? LinkedIn? Myspace? Bebo? Hi5? Orkut? WAYN? LiveJournal? Habbo? Flixster? ...there are just too many of these to list.

My oh my, it's no spend July!

After reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad I became obsessed with money. Inspired to become a billionaire I realized that I have to learn a hard lesson first - spending less.

Once my Mom was published in The Motley Fool for an article about my Sister and I. My sister is a saver, an impressive, amazing saver. I, on the other hand, have "champagne taste and caviar dreams" (an excerpt from her article). I will admit, I do love things. My favorite song is still "Part of your World" from The Little Mermaid, and with lyrics like "...wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?!" and "I've got gadgets and gizmo's a plenty..." and we can't forget the best part; "I want moooooore!" It is no wonder I am a spender.

So, I learned from the book that Bob (Robert, can I call you Bob?) created a game to teach people how to exit the rat race. Since I don't like to play other peoples games, I went ahead and created my own. The game is called No Spend July.

It is explained here


My Sister and Boyfriend graciously accepted my challenge, so, starting 7/1/2008 we will start updating a Google doc spreadsheet with our purchases.

How many shoes do you think I can hold back on?